Codependency

DOES SOMEONE YOU LOVE DRINK TOO MUCH?

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS TO DETERMINE IF YOUR LIFE
IS BEING AFFECTED BY A LOVED ONE'S CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL:

1. Do you lose sleep because of someone's drinking?

2. Do many of your thoughts revolve around the drinking situations and problems resulting because of that person's drinking?

3. Do you try to control the drinking by asking for promises to stop drinking?

4. Do you make threats, and then not carry them out?

5. Do you have increasing negative attitutes toward the person?

6. Do you mark, hide,or empty bottles of liquor or medications?

7. Do you think that everything would be okay if the drinking situation changed?

8. Do you feel alone, rejected, fearful, angry, guilty, or exhausted?

9. Are you feeling an increasing dislike of yourself?

10. Do you find your moods fluctuating as a direct result of the drinking?

11. Do you try to deny or conceal the drinking situation?

12. Do you cover and protect for the person?

13. Do you feel responsible and guilty for the drinking behavior?

14. Are you beginning to, or have you withdrawn from friends and outside activities?

15. Have you taken over responsibilities that used to be handled by the other person?

16. Are financial problems increasing because of the drinking?

17. Do you find yourself trying to justify your feelings and behavior in reaction to the drinking behavior?

18. If there are children in the home, are they showing any stress or behavior changes that could be related to the drinking situation?

19. Do you have any new physical symptoms like headaches, indigestion, nausea, or shakiness?

20. Do you feel defeated and hopeless?

IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO 3 OR MORE OF THESE QUESTIONS, IT INDICATES THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!

THE PROBLEM IS ALCOHOLISM!!!

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

The following are practical suggestions for YOU, as you put denial behind you and seek to address the problem with God's help!

DO!

1. Begin with yourself! Learn all the facts about alcoholism by reading or attending seminars and put them to work in your own life.

2. Attend Al-Anon meetings or other family support groups if available.

3. See an addiction counselor or specialist for help for yourself.

4. Remember you are emotionally involved. Changing your attitude and approach to the problem can speed up the recovery process.

5. Encourage all beneficial activities of the alcoholic and cooperate in making them possible.

6. Learn that love cannot exist without compassion, discipline and justice, and to give it without these qualities is to destroy it eventually.

DON'T!

1. Don't let the alcoholic lie to you and accept it as the truth,for in so doing you encourage the process. Truth is often painful, but get to it.

2. Don't let the alcoholic outsmart you, for this teaches them to avoid responsibility and lose respect for you at the same time.

3. Don't let the alcoholic exploit you or take advantage of you, for in so doing, you become an accomplice in the evasion of responsibility.

4. Don't LECTURE, MORALIZE, SCOLD, PRAISE, BLAME, THREATEN, ARGUE when drunk or sober, or pour out liquor, You may feel better but not help.

5. Don't accept promises, for this is just a method of postponing pain. In the same way do not keep switching agreements. If one is made keep it.

6. Don't lose your temper and thereby destroy yourself and any possibility of help

7. Don't allow your anxiety to compel you to do what the alcoholic must do for him / herself.

8. Don't cover up or abort the consequences of drinking. This reduces the crisis but perpetuates the illness.

9. Don't become obsessed with your alcoholic. Find recreation and hobbies for yourself, and turn your focus onto your own relationship with God.

10. Don't put off facing the reality that alcoholism is a progressive illness that gets worse as the drinking continues. To do nothing is the worst choice you can make. Start NOW to learn, to understand and to plan for recovery.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE - MANY ARE FINDING HOPE & HELP FOR RECOVERY!

From Overcomers Outreach literature