FAMILY FUNCTIONING COMPARISON

WELL-FUNCTIONING FAMILY POORLY-FUNCTIONING FAMILY
1. Parents are substantially shame-free, so they don't expect to be perfect. 1. Parents are significantly shame-bound. so they believe they should be perfect.
2. Parents are consistantly adequate because they admit personal problems and seek help to resolve them. "People can have problems" Not bound by shame. 2. Parents are significantly impaired because they won't admit personal problems and seek help to resolve them.
3. Parents expect family problems so when the problems come,they focus on problem-solving. 3. Parents expect family to be problem-free, so when the problems come, they focus on appearance management.
4. Parents consistently tell the truth about what's happening in and around the family. 4. Parents consistently distort and deny what's happening in and around the family to conceal problems.

Excerpt from Shame-Free Parenting by Dr. Sandra Wilson (InterVarsity, 1992)